That’s the amount of time left before I trade in my beach towel and burritos for spray tans and fist pumps.
Yup, that’s right. I’m moving back east (in case you missed my constant, almost-to-the-point-of-annoying stream of social media posts). After 10 years of bouncing around the country (first to Boston, then San Diego, then San Francisco, then internationally to London, and finally back to San Francisco), I’ll be reconnecting with my roots in the tri-state area. And I’m pretty damn excited, just as I’ve been excited for all my previous moves. [Read more]
New Year’s Resolutions? Mehhhh….
While I commend the idea of having long(ish)-term goals in order to better one’s self, my repeat resolutions of 1) drinking less, 2) acquiring abs and 3) reading more never seem make it very far. Three weeks is typically the max. before I’m back to binge drinking, double-fisting burritos and relying on Wikipedia to further my education.
This year, like every year, peer pressure compelled me into writing my 2016 list of personal goals. (I can only respond to the “What are your NY resolutions?” question with “Fuck resolutions!” so many times before feeling like an ambitious-less dirt bag.) Here’s what they boiled down to… [Read more]
My mama always told me that she’d give me the belt if I ever wrote on the walls of our home. I bet the mothers of these artists didn’t stop them!
“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.”
Thanks, Henry Ford, for that quote… and of course, for cars.
Ok sure, you’re a catch. You’re sweet, incredibly kind to the ladies, a great snuggler, and may even write sappy love songs on your acoustic guitar for the ones that you care about. You have everything a woman could ever ask for in a man! So why, then, is it seemingly impossible for you to get the girl, despite your many tried attempts?
My terrible navigational skills lead me to this incredible view of the city, atop Nob Hill. Finding this accidental discovery totally reminded me of something I read on a friend’s Facebook:
“Sometimes you just stumble on unexpected sceneries and you wonder what you would have missed out on if you didn’t make these extra steps.”
This one’s not really about creepers or, specifically, how to become one. It’s not even about bitches and hoes. Just a sad, sad self-realization…
“All this drinking is destroying my neurological synapses!” [Read more]
Analogous to the previous post, here are a few disclaimers in an attempt to salvage any hope that you guys still think I’m a nice person… [Read more]
This one is actually inspired by a friend, the name of who will remain anonymous lest they see this and I get dubbed the “bad friend” (Womp womp). So, let me describe a little about the particular observation that led me (and probably the girl he was macking it to) to think, “Wow, what a FREAKIN creeper!”